Thursday, 14 April 2016


Easter Melbourne (1/2)

Leo and I flew out on a Thursday night last month for one of the best long weekends I've ever had. To be honest, we've had a rough start to the year. I really did feel optimistic in January, but a lot of things have happened between them and now, and the Easter long weekend seemed like a good moment to take advantage of. We didn't really set out to hit a lot of tourist-y things in Melbourne, 1) because it was Easter and not everything was open, but also 2) because we wanted to spend some time together, and just relax. Running around a city trying to do all the things is not relaxing. We took our time. We visited a cat cafe, took a walk down the river, visited a bar in the crown.

I honestly feel that there is nothing wrong with travelling this way. Being a little unorganised, unsure about what you want to hit up, and just wandering a little. Going wherever and doing whatever happens to catch your eye on the day. I think for us, we also just wanted to experience living together. We're 19 - Leo turning 20 in August. We've been dating since high school, and we have reached that point in our relationship where we talk about living together and sharing our lives in the future. It was lovely to have a taste of that on this long weekend.

We stumbled on the 200 Years of Australian Fashion in this way. I'm not sure how long it'll be around for - or even if it's already packed up and moved on, but it was such a dream of an exhibition, and just an incredible celebration and exploration of Australian fashion. Seeing actual clothing owned and worn by actual people up to 200 years ago was incredible. I think we don't have a very good conception of how long-lasting clothes can be. Clothing doesn't seem to waste away like food, and yet it doesn't seem to last forever, like plastic. To see dresses and hats and shoes from so many years ago, still in pristine condition is really amazing. You'd think that these kinds of clothes wouldn't exist in today's society, but people have been keeping designer dresses and suits from the 1800s in their homes or private collections, and it was such a treat to see them brought out into the public eye.

Some of the clothes really struck a chord with me. Even hats. I left that exhibition starry-eyed - I guess fashion is an art form that has just really connected with me.

Seeing contemporary Australian fashion slowly come to light was also really incredible. It really gives you an understanding of how long some names have been around for, and what the Australian fashion landscape actually looks like. Australian designers have been growing from strength to strength lately, but it's easy to forget that there are others before them, who were doing things just as great. It also meant a lot to me to see that there could be an exhibition about fashion. Fashion is very much an art form in its own right, and seeing that constant stream of creativity and culture manifest in 200 years worth of Australian fashion was so incredible to see.

I'm also now a proud owner of an absolutely beautiful book that will definitely be on my coffee table sometime in the future.

To be honest, I really miss that weekend. I really miss Melbourne. I haven't been this stressed out or tired in a while - since sometime in the middle of last year, and I would give anything for a long weekend to myself. I'm starting to see that this is probably just who I am - I don't feel comfortable taking my time and having no commitments, and yet, I tend to overwhelm myself with commitments.

Today, I had a talk with my mother at dinner. I love her a lot, and she's done a lot for our family. Talking to her reminded me of how different our perspectives could be. I've been thinking about taking some financial burden off my family - paying for some more things by myself. But my mother refused, and told me not to be ridiculous. I need to study. I don't need to be thinking about paying my own phone bills. I really appreciate that love my family has for me, but it just reminds me that I still have a lot of growing up to do, and a long time to go before I can start my own life.

I think for now, I'm just in a part of my life where I'm waiting for this week to pass, and maybe the next week. I'm stressed out, and I'm worried about my eating and exercising habits, and I want to be doing well academically, but I don't think I'll be achieving the goals I hoped for. I'm mostly alright with this, but I just hope that this won't be my life all the time. I know that it's important to enjoy the day to day, and if I'm not enjoying my life, then I'm definitely living it wrong somehow.

I just don't want to mess up on that point. At least.

With that in mind, I think I've missed the deadline to try and get myself to Fashion Week this year - but I'm also pretty sure I have university. I think sometime soon, I need to reconsider what commitments I'm going to maintain in my life. But the thing that's most important - is that I need to do the things that I genuinely want to do. I'm really excited to be playing Oztag next season, and if I like reading Vogue I really should read Vogue. It's also okay to have a really bad week and talk about it on tumblr, and I should take the time to talk to my friends via text if I'm feeling lonely. I shouldn't not do these things just because I'm busy with study.

I should also do my best with studying and stay motivated. It's an incredible privilege that I can be studying at all, and I need to make the most of that. And on that note - I'm pretty sure I want to take family law in a couple years when electives roll around.

Here's some Maticevski.
I'll see you around kids.
M. x
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