Tuesday, 1 March 2016

,

Forward Motion

I haven't been taking photos the past two months of 2016, and a part of me mourns this fact, and there's a part of me that's okay with it. The first couple months of this year have been difficult for me. Like always, there are always good days, but there were also difficult moments. January was incredibly busy, so I didn't end up mustering up the energy to go out and take photos, and February ended up that way too. But I also know this isn't a very good excuse. So I'm trying to get back into the game. Dearest Alice reminded me recently that I didn't need to construct an image - and that's true. I don't need to compose everything from scratch. I don't need to have a clear vision of what I want to achieve one day. It's okay to just go out one day and capture something. I'd forgotten what that felt like, and heading out to the MCA and the Rocks with Kalppana really reminded me of that.

Kalppana is a person who is really brimming with energy. I've never had a dull moment with her, and even though we haven't known each other for the longest time, it's always such a pleasure spending time with her. I've also never met somebody who is so shameless with taking huge amounts of photos, and I really love that. I feel that sometimes I'm possibly too self conscious, or I feel that getting people to take photos of me is too awkward. Kalppana showed me that that doesn't need to be the case, and I really truly appreciate that. I honestly believe that a good photo of yourself can go a long way in giving your self confidence a boost, even if it is on an aesthetic level only. And if anything - it's something that I needed this week.


My week has been a lot of ups and downs, I've been hit with a lot of restlessness that comes with waiting the extra month for university to start, and some other thoughts and feelings have been bothering me too. I've been cooped up a lot at home too, partially out of necessity, but it didn't help. It meant I was trapped with my own thoughts a lot, and it wasn't doing me any good. So given my situation, I'm really glad that I was able to do something different today, and inject some happiness into myself. Going out one day, visiting a place I haven't been to for a while, having a lovely lunch with a dear friend - these were good things for me. I needed to get out of the house. Picking up a camera again was also really therapeutic (surprisingly so), even though I didn't any clear goals for images in mind.

Something else that I've been reminded of is that I don't need to be the best at something. I'm not the best I could be at photography, and I may not always take the best photos ever, but that doesn't mean that I should cease photography as a worthwhile endeavour. Not everything I do should be results driven. I like photography, and if I like the process of taking long walks, getting excited about good lighting, or good backdrops, and taking my time framing and taking shots, then I should keep at it, no matter the end results. And just because my DSLR is heavy, doesn't mean I shouldn't make the effort to carry it out sometime.

Don't make excuses, Michelle. Just do it (so says your favourite sportswear brand, Nike).

I hope that the rest of this month, and the rest of the year, will turn out alright. My pessimism means that I know better than to hope that I'll have the best year ever (the overwhelming odds are definitely not in my favour), but I will endeavour to make the most of it. I'm fairly happy with how February turned out, and even though March currently looks like it might have some rough patches, I know I'll be alright. And even if I do have a bad morning, or afternoon, or night, or day - there will always be tomorrow. The world isn't going to end because something went wrong. I'm stronger than that, and I know better.

All the best.

And doesn't Kalppana just look beautiful?

Bye for now,
M.
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